Recently I came across the crown jewel of all crown jewels… Wait for iiiitt!!! My 8th grade diary… I know right? Back in the day the super cool Christian band “Point of Grace” came out with an amazing study Bible, devotional, and journal. Which, may I add every girl wanted at the time, including me! Ok, maybe just me… But for my birthday my mom surprised me with the trio, and I began religiously writing in this journal all my hopes and dreams. And now 11 years later, I look back and memories begin flooding into my brain. As I read, I laughed, paused in memory of friendships passed, but mostly cringed at how much of a weirdo I was! (Haha) But seriously, allow me to explain in this 4 part blog titled: Diary of a Wimpy Chick. (See what did there?)

After I finished reading the stories of old, I couldn’t help but first call my mom and laugh at all the silliness she lived through during my pre-teen years. So allow me to give major props to all those moms out there of pre-teen girls who are living in the trenches of broken hearts, espionage and schizophrenic friendships. You are the true heroes of your daughters, and they may not know it yet, but someday they will!

Then, I realized I wish I could go back to that awkward, late bloomer, quirky self and give her a Dr. Pepper, and some advice that may have saved her some heartache. I know that without heartache there are no lessons learned, BUT I will give a few key points of advice that I CAN pass along to YOU. You being the mom who doesn’t know what to tell her sobbing daughter when she doesn’t know how to go on in life, the youth pastor with the room full of girls who are sobbing together because for some reason when you get one girl crying THEY ALL CRY! Lastly, YOU could be that girl who just needs a good laugh at the ridiculous things I went through. Hopefully you can learn from me. So here goes nothing…

       1. I wish I knew that extreme obsession over a boy wasn’t EVER a good idea.

**To protect the identity of all parties involved, I will now use aliases for all people mentioned hereon in the journal stated above.**

I was in 8th grade during the time of these writings, and the boy I like was in HIGH SCHOOL. So most people would think a wimpy 8th grader wouldn’t have a shot with a 10th grader, but I WAS CONVINCED THIS RELATIONSHIP WAS POSSIBLE! (Quick precursor- I went to a very small school, so the middle and high schoolers saw each other frequently during the middle of the day, which is how my obsession began.)

February 2, 2004

                Dear Diary,

                                …I think I’ve started liking him ever since he talked to me. He said “My feet are cold” I know that’s lame but he didn’t have to say it, but he did say it to me…  {Love is so real, especially when someone expresses their foot temperature to you}

February 3

                Dear Diary,

                                I found out that ‘he who must not be named’  isn’t going out with anyone, I’m so happy. OK that sounds lame, but it’s a better chance for me. And I saw him in the hall today. {It’s the simple things in life, right?}

February 4

                Dear Diary,

                                I knew he would be there. And he was… I looked like such a dork standing there. But the weird thing was he went and stood on the bottom of the stairs. Then today he was looking at ME! It’s a sign I tell you. {It wasn’t a sign little Em… It wasn’t a sign}

February 5

                Dear Diary,

                                HE was at the game tonight. I served him 2 hot dogs. He has a big appetite so if we get married then I can cook a lot for him. {Ok, so this is the beginning of stalker mode kicking in. Jesus help me… SMH}

Big jump in time now, allow me to fill it in for you, basically every day I just mentioned how “HOTT!” he was. Yes I spelled hot with two T’s. Oh jeez… I also talked about how amazing of an athlete he is, etc.

February 17

                Dear Diary,

                                Had a good day, saw ‘you know who’ today. I now know his 1st, 2nd, and 3rdhour classes for school. I think I’m paranoid. {NOOO!!! Really??? I was that chick? And in case you were wondering, yes. I did have braces.}

Ok ladies and hopefully not too many gents, I have just humbled myself to all the internet, I hope you all received a few laughs. The entirety of this relationship, which mostly happened in my dreams, was about 20 days. That’s right just shy of 3 weeks. And to say I was obsessed is an understatement. So this blog may not be spiritually deep, but I will tack this on the end here…

Moms, love your daughters through the obsessions, and “reason” is a word that… Well… Absolutely ceases to exist from the dictionary of their brains. Youth pastors, it’s only a season. They will be able to focus again, one day, on the beauty of the Old Testament study you have worked tirelessly on. Hopefully…

And to all my sisters out there who are in the middle of the obsession, you are amazingly amazing. You are beautiful. You are good enough. If you are pining over the hilarious Chris Pine, or a manly man from One Direction, or maybe he’s the boy sitting kitty corner from you in English. Even if he never knows you have memorized many of his favorite things or secretly placed those cookies inside his locker because you have memorized his locker combination… {Awkward side glance} God has created you for the perfect man, and someday if you are patient, you’ll be sitting beside the man of your dreams just like I am now.

**Stay tuned for part 2 in the series of Diary of a Wimpy Chick as Emily will tackle schizophrenic friendships**

                Dear Diary,

                                …I found out that ‘you know who’ had her period last year!!! She didn’t even tell us. I am so mad. That’s just one more thing she has beat me at…

From left to right: Emily B, Tessa, and myself  rocking some amazing flowy denim. Who knew something like that existed... 

From left to right: Emily B, Tessa, and myself  rocking some amazing flowy denim. Who knew something like that existed... 

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord established their steps." 

--Proverbs 16:9--

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