So, this thing doesn’t come with directions? Why is she crying? Why won’t she STOP crying? What do you mean she isn’t latched properly and furthermore, how does the word latch have to do with the incessant milk draining from my body as if I’m a dairy cow out to pasture? Why won’t she STOP crying? Her poop should be what color? You mean I have to actually examine it? Why won’t she STOP crying? Does this thing ever sleep? I’m sure she will never sleep. Ever.
Ok, maybe that’s a tad dramatic. But not really. My experience as a new mom was actually far more dramatic then I care to recount. Why? Because I was so scared. So so so so scared. I had no idea what I was doing, even though my baby was delivered into fantastic circumstances. My husband and I had been married for four years already; we had planned for this sweet bundle of joy and were ecstatic to meet her! But then, as soon as we brought her home, it set in, the fear. The knowledge that I lacked experience with babies. The harsh reminder that I come from a background of abuse and the ever present lie of the enemy that I’d ruin my kid. The fact that we had very few people in our lives at the time to walk us through a season that I thought I was prepared for yet too embarrassed to admit that I was not. I wonder if you can relate?
It’s been many, many years now since my first encounter with our sweet, apple headed newborn. We’ve gone on to have another little babe since, so thankfully fear did not win that day. I am the proud mama of two girls that as I write this, tears flood my eyes because I do not deserve to have such phenomenal kids. But alas, God’s a God of grace and mercy and He blessed this crazy lady with some cool kids.
And even though I’ve managed to navigate the baby stages to the toddler stages to the crazy world of a three year old, (because whoever said it was terrible twos made that up before they turned three) to kindergarten and on and on, I’m in a new season now and yet one that seems all too familiar.
And again, you mean this doesn’t come with directions? Why won’t she STOP crying? What did I say wrong now? Oh no you didn’t just roll your eyes at me, using an emojii does not mean it’s ok! You are so awesome, you can do anything! Go to your room. Why won’t she STOP crying? HOLY HORMONES BATMAN!
Pre-teen. I’m there. And I’m scared. It’s a season I’ve not known before. But yet, in some strange way, I have. The fear still tries to sneak up; “you’re gonna really mess her up. You lost your temper, she’ll never forget that. You make matters worse by nagging. You don’t know how to raise a teenager. Why won’t YOU stop crying?” And on and on and on.
So yes, the fear still comes. But thankfully, I’m a tad more seasoned than I was when I brought that sweet babe home from the hospital. I’ve been fortunate to walk with Jesus just a little longer now. And I’ve learned that seasons absolutely do change. And I’ve also learned that some seasons are straight up harsh. Some of them are blurry as we walk through the fog with the inability to see the good. You see, the more we beat ourselves up for the mistakes we make, the thicker the fog gets. When the fog is dense, it’s time to search for an answer.
I love the Word of God so much. There’s an answer for everything. In Matthew 22, Jesus was approached by some religious leaders; they were basically asking Him who would be married to who in Heaven. His reply is worthy of some serious fog kicking butt today:
Matthew 22:29 “Jesus replied, “Your mistake is that you don’t know the scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God.”
Honestly, think about that scripture for a moment in regards to raising our sweet teenagers. Will I make mistakes? Yes. A thousand times yes. But let it not be said of me that I made the mistake of not knowing the power of God that lies in scripture. Oh heck to the no. I need the power of God to flow through my life as I navigate my sweet girls through this jungle of becoming a woman. There is a scripture for every feeling, for every hurt, for every emotion, for every drama-laden worry my girls will have. So if I can do the job of directing them to the Word, God’s power will do the rest. His Word is alive and it’s active, so it can do far more for their crazy world than I can ever do in my limited ability.
I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to embarrass them. I’m going to dance in front of their friends and use words like, “bomb.com” and “fo shizzle” in an attempt to think I’m really cool. Ok, maybe I won’t do that. Or probably I will. But regardless, I refuse to make the mistake that the religious leaders of Jesus’ day made. I will not forget the power of God that lies in scripture.
So with that being said, the next time you see a thick, dense patch of fog, take a long look at it. Because as you do, you’ll notice that just underneath the fog, right between where the ground and the fog kiss, you’ll see that it’s clear as clear can be. It may be hard to see, you may have to look really, really carefully, but you’ll see the ground. And when you see that solid ground, remember this, you too are solid. You’re a good mom. You’re a mom that may not have it all figured out, you may be a mom that sings Disney songs while walking the halls of your child’s school, but doggonit, you’re solid and the fog is going to lift.
Why won’t she STOP crying? It’s ok, point her to Jesus.